Loving someone is not necessarily loving a boyfriend/girlfriend or loving your spouse. Unconditional love can exist between mother-child, father-child and so on.
But today am going to try to express my interpretation of what I feel love is in a healthy, romantic relationship.
When someone falls in love it is the warmest and purest feeling anyone could ever have. Love gives you strength, it makes you to try and be a better person. When you love someone whole-heartedly and irrevocably, there is no other pure feeling than that.
Love is feeling your heart do the tango when your loved one is in front of you or even when you are talking to him/her. Love is trusting someone completely and trusting that your partner won't break your trust ever! Love is someone not being your drug, but someone who is like a wisp of fresh air that gives you a new lease of life.
Love is trying not to be someone's weakness but his/her strength. Love is not feeling the need to play mind games. Love is the inner feeling and need you get, to share everything with him/her, and hiding anything from him/her makes you feel guilty. Love is when you are there for each other during times of turmoil. Love is respecting each others views and feelings and not belittling him/her. Love is not taking him/her for granted. Love is missing him/her even if you are away from each other for a small duration of time. Love is when even small fights or speaking rudely to him/her makes you feel guilty about it and you actually feel sorry for it. Love is the happiness you feel when you reconcile after a fight.
But these days, I feel many people confuse being "in love" with other feelings they have. Loving or being in a relationship should always be healthy. It is often misconstrued that because someone is in a relationship or is married they are in love. Women who are in an abusive relationship think that their boyfriend/husband is being abusive because he loves her. Well, if someone really loves you, that person can't bear to see you in distress, so being abusive is out of question. I have even seen women try and play mind games and take undue advantage of the man who truly and deeply loves her. All these selfish, abusive feelings are never meant to be part of a good, healthy romantic relationship.
So when you are in such an abusive relationship stop trying to convince yourself that things will get better, that it is "love". No it is NOT! Love can never hurt, if it does, it is NOT love.
So all in all, I'd just like to say understand and always gauge your feelings. Try and understand if a relationship you are in, is being your strength or your weakness. If it is being abusive then try and get out of it, because being in an abusive relationship is the worst thing you can do to yourself. But if the relationship is a healthy, happy one then try work on it and that will make you feel liberated and the happiest you can ever be.
I'd like to quote Erich Fromm here-
"Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.'"
No comments:
Post a Comment